- Relationship difficulties
Partners, parents, children, friends... Relationships can be the source of our greatest joys and our deepest miseries. Are you aware of who and what you are actually attracting with your energy and body language? Do you know the hidden scripts you are following when you seek a partner? What unconscious patterns do you play out in relationships?
- Sexual problems (such as difficulty reaching orgasm or premature ejaculation)
Our sexuality is core to our identity, and problems in this area can be the cause of shame, loss of confidence and tension in relationships.
Most of the common sexual problems are embodied symptoms of our beliefs and attitudes towards issues such as trust, independence, power and self-expression.
All the ways in which we relate (or do not relate) to others are manifested in our sexual behaviour. In fact, many of my clients working on other issues report
dramatic improvements in their sex lives simply as a side-effect of the work.
- Recent or past trauma
Being the victim of a shocking event (such as an accident, burglary or rape) can lead us to lose trust in the world and feel full
of fear and anxiety. Sometimes these feelings heal with time and the support of friends and family. Sometimes they persist, and may even get worse, with
flashbacks and panic attacks: this is post-traumatic stress, and is due to the nervous system not 'resetting' correctly, preventing the brain from
assigning the incident to the past. Body-centred techniques are very powerful in helping the body rebalance and you to recover.
- Physical conditions that are not responding to treatment
Your body holds your emotional history just as much as your mind does, and what you are today is the sum of everything that has ever happened to you.
Trying to 'soldier on' in the face of emotional and psychological wounds may help you cope, but it is a strategy that does not work on the body, and the stress of inner conflicts and tensions may result in persistent poor health or 'dis-ease.'
- Patterns of behaviour that are unhelpful, damaging or self-limiting
During childhood we adopt certain strategies to cope with our emotional environment and to ensure parental approval. These strategies become second nature, so much part
of our character that we may not even realise they are there. We hold these strategies as both 'mental scripts' and patterns of chronic muscular tension (body armour). Frequently these
strategies do not serve us well in adult life and result in patterns of behaviour that undermine us. The patterns may also seem to be 'out there' in the world or in other people. Coincidences do happen,
but repeating patterns in life are a sure sign that some deep issue needs to be addressed.
- Stress and anxiety
A certain level of stress is good, as it gears us up for action. But when it becomes too high the result is anxiety. If it becomes a persistent drain on our emotional and physical resources then we need to take action to deal with it. Unfortunately, by that time the levels may be so high that our judgment becomes impaired and we are literally unable to see a solution and everything can seem overwhelming.
- Low self-esteem or lack of confidence
We humans are relational beings: we see ourselves in the mirror of other people. In order to feel lovable we must once have been loved; in order to feel valuable we must once have been valued. Where positive past experience has been lacking, people tend to either collapse in on themselves or thrust out in an aggressive and controlling manner. What is needed is to work on both one's mental scripts and body armour in a
safe, supportive and caring environment.
- Struggles with work-life balance
We all need money to live, and we will spend a significant proportion of our adult lives acquiring it. Our job may be the focus of our lives, and many of us will
even spend more time with our colleagues than with our partners. We work long hours (often sandwiched between stressful commuting), and the nature of our
society does not promote healthy family lives. A healthy lifestyle balances work, play and loving relationships.
- Existential issues or lack of direction in life
Life... Do you wonder what it's all about? Are there unanswered questions running through your mind: Is this all there is? I want to make something of my life - I don't know what I want, but I do know it isn't what I have... We live in a goal-oriented society: we pursue success, promotions, better jobs, bigger houses, more material goods... But why? What is it to be sane in a crazy world? What does it all mean? If we're going to die anyway, what's the point?
- Life transitions (such as mid-life crisis or menopause)
There are various stages to life. Some are marked by physiological changes, such as puberty, menopause and ageing; others are purely psychosocial (matters of behaviour and the way we relate to the world), but
are no less real. Each stage brings its own challenges and opportunities to grow as a person - or to stagnate. Successfully navigating the transition from one stage to the next involves finding a healthy balance between the positive and negative aspects; this may be complicated by the fact that each transition may trigger unresolved issues from earlier stages.
- Depression
It is normal to feel down or blue once in a while, but depression is another matter. It can wreck our quality of life, and the way it drains energy can make it hard to manage. Advice on what to do is not much help
if you struggle to get out of bed or take care of your basic needs. Relying on prescription antidepressants is rarely a viable long-term solution, although they may be very useful to stabilise the current situation.
- Bereavement
Losing a loved one can turn our world upside-down and can plunge us into a range of emotions: shock, fear, relief, guilt, anger, grief - or complete numbness.
There may be so many emotions and of such intensity that it is bewildering. Time does heal, and many people come through the grieving process with the support of friends and family. But sometimes people get stuck and struggle to find meaning and achieve the acceptance that allows them to live again; others simply do not have the necessary support available - and it is not good to be alone with death.
- Poor body image, diet issues, and more
To completely misquote Winston Churchill: "We shall fight at the supermarket, we shall fight in the restaurant and in the kitchen, we shall fight on the bathroom scales, we shall fight at the gym; we shall never surrender." Is this how things are with your body? Wouldn't it be less frustrating and more productive to replace mutual antagonism with a relationship based on love and understanding?
Body psychotherapy and body-centred therapeutic approaches can help you close the gap between who you are and who you would like to be, between the life you have and the life you want.
- Connect with your personal power
Power often gets a bad press: in many people's minds it is associated with 'abusive power'. But we all need personal power in order to achieve anything in life: it is the engine that drives us. Without it we are helpless victims of circumstance.
- Explore your hidden depths
Our inner world is a place of boundless complexity and an endless source of fascination. Just as life itself is not static, neither are we - we are always 'work in progress'. Whether you want to explore a specific area or just want to experience the journey, deep bodywork can give you fresh insights and open new doors.
- Enhance movement repertoire
Athletes, dancers, singers, practitioners of yoga and other physical disciplines can benefit from identifying places of deep chronic tension that affect both movement and breathing, as well as addressing the muscular imbalances that may develop from a certain exercise routine.
- Improve acting & public speaking
When speaking in public, body, breath and emotional connection are all vitally important, and without these essential groundings it can be hard to give a confident performance. This is true whether you're an actor, TV presenter or giving presentations at conferences or corporate events. I can help you assess and redress areas of weakness to become more centred in yourself.
